6 Very Strange Valentine’s Day Gifts

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Not every business making a few bucks on Valentine’s Day sells chocolates and flowers. Whether you’re in the market for some truly unique jewelry to give your Valentine, you want to make a loved one laugh out loud or hope to exact revenge on an ex, you should check out the offerings from these 6 companies. You might just fall in love.

Make a funny Valentine

Thinking of giving your loved one something homemade this Valentine’s Day? Consider stitching up something sassy with a kit from Subversive Cross Stitch. Julie Jackson, the creative force behind the site, has revived and revved up this old-fashioned pastime. Jackson, who started her business in 2003 as a way to expel the anger she felt toward her bully of a boss, has kept the company prospering for 10 years with some business savvy and a great sense of humor. Offering stitched, sentimental messages like, “I love you more than kittens,” and, “Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker,” you really can’t go wrong with one of these crafty gifts.

Take a bite out of love

Nothing says I love you quite as much as giving your sweetheart a ring made from one of your own teeth. Though a necklace made from your hair might be nearly as nice. Australian designer and jeweler Polly van der Glas makes such romantic gestures possible with her line of jewelry and miniature sculptures made from human hair and teeth housed in beautiful, cast-metal settings.

Van der Glas is always seeking donations of discarded bodily materials from residents of her hometown of Melbourne. But if you choose to use your own teeth as part of a custom piece of jewelry, you’ll receive 10 percent off the purchase price of your item. It’s a deal you can really sink your teeth into.

Send something they won’t soon forget

Flowers are a surefire way to make that special person in your life swoon. But what if your sweetheart has done you wrong? Flowers might still send a powerful message, especially if they arrive broken and on the verge of decay.

Dirty Rotten Flowers offers an array of damaged bouquets for delivery to your erstwhile partner. Whether it’s a bunch of stinking, old carnations or an arrangement of decapitated roses, these gifts have the right stuff to get your twisted point across this Valentine’s Day.

Buy a fake girlfriend

You needn’t worry if you feel lonely this Valentine’s Day, but don’t have time to find a date. In this digital world, a real person is no longer a prerequisite for a fleeting romance. NamoroFake.com, a Brazilian site with a catalogue of Facebook profiles for lease, can set you up with the virtual girl of your dreams, giving your social media ego a bit of a boost.

The site’s package deals include daily comments on your Facebook timeline and, in the case of those committed, 30-day affairs, the obligatory relationship status change. If you’re just looking for a fling, that’s not a problem. The site offers a 3-day package for those just looking to test the strange waters of fraudulent, online dating. But if you have $39.00 to spare, you can make your real ex-girlfriend jealous for all of Valentine’s week with glimpses of your exotic, albeit ersatz, paramour.

Put your heart into it

For some, the quintessential heart shape might feel a little stale this Valentine’s Day. If this sounds like you, then London-based jeweler The Great Frog might have just the right gift. They cast their anatomically correct heart pendant in sterling silver, just one of many edgy designs that could make the science nerd or literalist in your in life swoon.

Give a little revenge

Do you have someone on your nasty list this Valentine’s Day? If so, consider putting a virtual voodoo curse on your enemy with the help of PinStruck.com. This free site, the brainchild of two bored Web designers, allows users to send anonymous, passive-aggressive messages to those who have wronged them. The victim of your hex will receive a link directing them to the site, where they will see a personalized effigy of themselves impaled with pins. So, if you’re all out of cash and warm, fuzzy feelings this Feb. 14, don’t get mad. Get even.

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